goodbye 2010, hello 2011

it would be a few hours to go.. everybody's can't wait to say hello to a new year and saying goodbye to 2010.

to wrap off 2010 calendar, what i can says is that..2010 was not a lucky year for me. a lot of things had happened and so much misery.

things get worst when i fallen into failure and i am lucky to smells the forgiveness from God. i did too much pressure on myself, ignoring what heart says and finally i am downed. thats happened in 2010 and i won't let it touch or even slip into this coming new year.

heart to heart,
by saying hello without my late dad, it is impossible. if your daddy is by your side, please take care of him, tell him that you love him and hug him. i still remember he took a shower by the time a 2010 come. he said,i took a bath hoping that God cleanse me from bad luck.... but our fate is not on our hand. May him rest in peace..

tomorrow i will leaving my home to proceed my studies. my heart deeply says i am going to miss my family, my cousins and my friends... i feels like 2011 would be a battle year for me. i feels like i am a soldier. soldier who seeking Christ who let everything goes better and lighten my life.

i hope and pray for my goals become true for 2011. it is not just by words, but with my act indeed.


i am so sad to leave 2010.. this year burdened me up so much but things get me close to God..

if our dad wanted to see us success, grant us a luxuries gifts, what about our God our creator of the earth and sky? He grants the eternal life to people who obey his principle.. how great is our god.. praise the lord for whole my life.......

last but not least to wrap off 2010, i ask for my forgiveness to Jesus Christ and whoever i have made sins to them..

Goodbye 2010...

Story line FOR 2012!

before 2010 closeS out,

here is some plan that i have thought for next year!

1. i have to stay with my room mate who is going to be my house mate as we are currently plan to live in shop lot near our campus with rm125 each per month!

2. i really wanted to stay in my aunt's house with free fee! but then i can't because my room mate not willing to stay with us. =.=

3. i really have to save my budget for my room fee + food + driving fee + saving for our vacation to KL on June!

4. i need to ON diet mode!

5. i need to be independent becoming woman!

6. starts not to be influence by others, JUST FOCUS ON MY STUDIES! VERY CRUCIAL THIS UPCOMING SEMESTER!

7. build healthy relationship with friends with no hypocrite! BE MYSELF, IS BETTER! =D

8. must think wisely on how to manage my schedule to study smartly and get enough rest!

9. PRAY MORE, IT HELPS ME DURING MY RESTNESS TIME + GOD HELPS ME RELEASING ALL BURDEN I HAVE! HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD <3 <3

10. NEXT TARGET!!!! UMS!!!!! YEAAYYYY!!!! 5MONTHS TO GO FOR LOOKING FOR A JOB BEFORE INTAKE ON JUNE 2012 TO UMS FOR BACHELOR IN INDUSTRIAL R/LATIONSHIP OR PATHOLOGY & ANDROPOLOGY!!!!

a week and a half before Christmas

hi there,
Christmas eve just around the corner but my mom said we are not going to celebrate it. i think my mom still "berkabung" for my late dad even though its been a year ago.. without celebration, it does not mean my family ignore the born of our saviour, i believe and trust that each of them would pray to God for giving HIS only child to us....


this year, my family will gathering in Miri as everyone will going back to meet each others! even though this year is second xmas without my late dad, we still keep the smile on our face.. :) may him rest in peace.



since i was child, i have never seen any christmas tree at home.. my brother also mentioned about it. i felt sad we cannot enjoy th christmas's environment with my family.. i feel jealous when i saw other families enjoy purchasing the christmas tree even it is SMALL.... ;( i really want it.. not because i just wanted the tree but to feel the born Lord JEsus to the world...TT
its ok.. i know LOrd understand me more than you are... =) i wish i could have a wonderful christmas in the future......................

fikiran ku saat ini

malam masih muda tapi diriku masih lagi berjaga..
memandang sudut lampu yang malap, hati ku terasa sunyi.. esok mungkin sama seperti hari ini, tiada aktiviti ku lakukan tetapi hanyalah berada di rumah ditemani laptop dan tv.
ku termenung,
bagaimana keadaan ku 5tahun akan datang...
masih hidup kah aku?
gemuk kah aku?
bekerja kah aku?
punya kekasih?
em.. misteri hidupku, hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu..

kedengaran penyaman udara beroperasi, aku terasa sejuk saat ini..
diselimuti selimut buatan ibu ku, hangat terasa diriku..
ibu ku jenak sekali tidur..
cousin ku terlelap juga..

tinggal aku seorang masih lagi menatap laptop sony vaio e series mette white.....

aku tiba tiba terfikir,
dahulu impian ku mahu menjadi model kebaya, ahh..mustahil diriku yang hodoh rupa menjadi seorang peraga yang anggun..
tapi, alangkah bagusnya jika ku dapat tunaikan hasrat ku walaupun kerja separuh masa untuk impianku..
mimpi hanya mimpi jika tidak mencuba kan?

em.. ku terfikir juga,
pupus kah lelaki/wanita yang mencintai seseorang itu sepenuh hati tanpa mencurangi yang ada?
hanya berdasarkan rupa yang waktu tua nya kedut juga,
hanya berdasarkan susuk tbuh yang menawan waktu tua lain jadinya,
itu ciri2 mahu mu?
aah.. mustahil bagi seseorang itu menidak kan semuanya..
mengenali seseorang itu memerlukan waktu,
biarpun panjang waktunya, namun personaliti diri seseorang itu bisa terungkap dengan peribadi nya yang baik, memikat hati dan sebagainya.. iya kan?

em..
akan ku cerita lagi fikiran ku saat ini di lain waktu..
gbu semuanya.. <3
night..

thank God

hey there,

i have bad news to share with. my result was totally dissatisfy me. i never fail any subject for final exam since i entered the university but then.... this semester i failed costing subject! i thought that i won't repeat any paper and enjoy my studies but God failed me on that subject. i guess this costing could be useful in my future. so God wants me to do better than before as i knew that i am not performing well for every single subject i have done on that semester. its okay, i know its God's willing. and i know that i can do better than than and ignore whatever people said that cannot grade on time bla bla bla~~~~

the future is not ours to see, so don't jump into conclusion by the way =)

i thank God because i failed one subject because i might be lucky as there could be lot of students failed two or three subjects for a semester!
i believe that everything had happen because there is a reason! no way we are always on the top, diligence and genius all the time!

nobody is perfect, man.

so, i will do better for my final year =) with God's guidance! amen.

im nervous!

hi there!

tomorrow at 9am will be crucial moment for me. my result for final semester coming up!

im curious i really cannot expect what i will get. im too cool and feels like nothing happen. im empty!

i hope everything would be okay as i had made up all my studies well.im too calm.. too relax..

compared to last semester, i think i have done better than this semester. maybe my room mate affect my environment of studies. she's better than me in a ways of studies. that's why sometimes i get affected by her. when im studying, she do so. she cannot follow my way as she will get better than me. im not fast track student, im blurry student.. that's why i studies more than others. i believe she will get a good result than me.. that's what my instinct said... =(


anyhow, i should not blame her because everyone want the best for themselves. as for me, i don't want to bet anyone but its for myself. i have to make sure my pointer will not falls down and even no refer paper! i dont wish for that.......

i wanted to grade on time and finish off my study. im tired of studies..studies...studies..

but, i have to. my family wish me to continue till CIMA accountant but...im not into it. im doing it to fulfill their wish..

somehow, i have bought new laptop, Sony Vaio E Series rm2299 after less rm100. mette white man! i really like it.. damn like it! =D

the old want i gave to my aunt so she will used it. the problem of my old laptop was the battery does not functioning and the worst is the fire came out and BOOM! the plug cannot pull out because the plastic protecting the plug was melting..huhu.. but then, it still can be used by using electric plug in. just that the flaw is pray for no black out!

last but no least, i really hope that all my work on studies pay off..
till then, happy good day everyone! <3