give me the light

Its been a long time for not updating my blog..
A lot of thing had happened in my life. I believe there is the reason of what Im facing right now.

Its all my fault for being arrogant toward myself. I don’t trust my own ability, my own style. For god so love, I commits my sins for treated my friend so bad, hating myself for not much better than others, hating myself, egoism, and selfish.
I cant stand with my environment.. my room mate who freaky scared attitude on me. I knew that she is cleverer than me. I knew she might be stressful for looking at my style studying 24 hours unlike her, get busy on fb-ing, watching movies..

For god so love, please give the light in my pathway.. please hear my prayer.. I know u never leave me alone as what my friend did to me.. I know I deserved for all that. Im not a good friend indeed. I do not know how to be socialize with friends, hanging out for fun..

I believe god teach me to control my emotion, not to hot tempered, be humble to others and be myself in my life. I will do what u command me god.. its worthy.
My god, how much u love me till I can feel it even though we full of sins not deserve to see u in naked eye.. u don’t deserve it god.. for you so kindness to us, I thank u for calming me when I cried, I feel the joy u gave to me.. god, I know u always there for us who really in need in whatever we lack of on earth.
I realized that, what had happened on earth, does not qualified us to enter your kingdom. Me myself, full of sins, cannot smell your kingdom as sins barrier my path to u god.. thank u god.. u never leave me whenever I need u by side.. all truthiness comes from u.. all love comes from u.. u never selfish toward human, u see us.. u lend your hand to catch us not to falls on evil ways..
Now, I can feel my self down to earth, after seeing my room mate much better than me, prettier, fairer and much nearer to u god.. But me, hot tempered person, sensitive, arrogant.. it all my big flaw..

I don’t deserve to have all greatest thing on earth. I don’t deserve to be number one from others.. im zero for nothing..

Experience teach me to not be selfish, be mature and appreciate life given to me.. I should be humble..

Gaining wealth of friends, money, iq, does not important without your support, my god.

Im hoping that my final exam will be fine. I don’t want to repeat any subjects. I really want to grade on time. Fo r god so loved, I miss u even though I cannot see u.. I miss u for supporting me without I realized it.. I miss u for keep accompany me whenever I go. I miss u when I know its Sunday, especially.

I love u Lord..

Bright my way to u god.. lead me to your kingdom..
Humble me, god..